


(I'm Alive) Don't Care Much For Words of Doom

by yehwellwhatever



Category: American Idol RPF, Kris Allen (Musician), The Anthemic
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, First Kiss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-03
Updated: 2012-07-03
Packaged: 2017-11-09 02:34:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/450314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yehwellwhatever/pseuds/yehwellwhatever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neal wakes up wondering who the hell is kissing him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(I'm Alive) Don't Care Much For Words of Doom

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to lire_casander for the beta. Any remaining mistakes are my own.

Neal wakes up with the feeling of something moist touching his lips. If he didn’t know better, he would think someone was _kissing_ him. But why the hell would someone kiss him when he wasn’t awake? Why hadn’t he been awake in the first place? And most importantly, who the hell is it? He would move back, but he doesn’t really have anywhere to go, whatever he’s lying on is really uncomfortable, and his arms are heavy, almost like something is holding them down.

The last thing he can remember of the night is leaving the party. He hadn’t even been drinking all that much, not like he usually does. Dave would have his head on a silver platter if he got wasted on their joint birthday celebration. That, combined with what he was feeling when he was around Kris Allen, whom he had _totally not_ invited, was enough to hold back on the drinking. So how did he get here, and who’s kissing him?

Opening his eyes, his sight was is blurry, which was to be expected, he guesses, with having someone so close to him. What little he is able to see, though, he recognizes, would recognize anywhere. The realization makes him gasp, in turn making the other person pull away.

“Oh, shit, fuck, you’re awake,” Kris says, sounding frantic and pointedly _not_ looking at Neal.

“Kristopher Allen, were you taking advantage of me?” Neal asks, watching the way a blush rises from Kris’ neck and up. It would be kind of endearing if it wasn’t for the fact that Neal doesn’t have the slightest clue what the fuck is going on.

“I… I… _no_!” Kris looks at him this time, his eyes wide in horror. “You were just _lying there_ and I couldn’t wake you up. I was giving you mouth to mouth. You scared the crap out of me!” Kris stands up and starts pacing to and fro.

“What the hell happened?” Neal asks, and this time when he tries to sit up, he manages to do so, but his head starts pounding worse than after a whole weekend of binging. He rubs the back of his head, not really sure what to expect. There’s one hell of a bump forming. _Shit_.

“I don’t know!” Kris all but shouts, the sound making Neal’s head hurt worse. “I just went out to get some air and I saw you on the ground. I thought you were dead, you didn’t wake up when I shook you.”

“You… you… you thought I was dead?” Neal is trying his hardest to wrap his head around what’s going on, but it’s not easy with it pounding like that. “Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously, fucking hell, Tiemann,” Kris says, and he’s pacing again. “Had me worried sick there, what if you had been dead? Then what would I have done? What would I have done without you?” The words are near frantic, and worry is etched into Kris’ features.

“Okay, woah,” Neal says. “What’s going on here, Allen?”

Kris stops pacing, back towards Neal. He’s silent for what feels like a very long time to Neal, the only thing filling the silence is the pounding of Neal’s head, which is just getting worse as time passes by.

“For fucks sake, could you sit down and talk to me?” Neal snaps, tired of waiting for Kris to say something, anything.

Kris does sit down this time, hands clasped together in his lap, his eyes locked somewhere between his feet. Still there’s nothing but the pounding of Neal’s head to fill the silence. The whole situation is just weird to Neal, it’s like he passed out and walked right into a chick flick.

“Why would you wear cowboy boots in the middle of the winter?” Kris asks, taking Neal by surprise. “You know they get slippery as hell, no wonder you fell and hit your head, for Christ’s sake.”

“You’re avoiding the subject, Allen,” Neal says, trying to keep calm. “What were you doing at the party? And why did you follow me outside? You don’t even _like me_.”

“Dave invited me,” Kris says, his voice gentle, he’s still looking somewhere between his feet. “And I do like you, more than you’ll ever know. From what Dave told me, I think you might like me too…”

The last words are barely a whisper, but Neal still hears them crystal clear. That is it, the proverbial elephant in the room is brought out into the open. What happens now? Neal honestly doesn’t have a clue. Last he heard, Kris was hopelessly in love with Katy who was still back home, finishing up her last year of high school.

“You have a girlfriend, Kris, you can’t like me.” Neal sighs, running a hand through his already messy hair. His head is pounding worse now. “You’re too good a person to do something like that. _I’m_ too good of a person to do something like that, and we both know I don’t exactly qualify for the title good.”

“I don’t have a girlfriend anymore,” Kris says, and this time he does look at Neal. His eyes widen, as if he realizes what he just said. His cheeks turn a deep shade of red, more so than they are from the cold already, and his hand fly to his mouth. “I… It’s just… I told Dave like three weeks ago, I thought you knew…”

“No… No, I didn’t know.” Neal takes a moment to think about that information. He exhales, daring to ask the question he doesn’t know if he wants an answer to. “So, what does this mean? For us?”

Kris moves closer on the bench, and for the first time in a very long time, looks over at Neal. Neal’s breath nearly catch in his throat, he’s never seen Kris look like that. Sure, Kris is mostly shy, and likes to keep to himself, but he looks downright vulnerable. It’s a little unsettling.

The lone street light cast shadows over them, so Neal can’t really make out the look in Kris’ eyes. He can see that his mouth is pinched though, like he’s biting the inside of his cheek to keep himself from say anything.

Neal just wants to take all that worry away, wants to reassure Kris and make him smile. But the truth is that he worries too, there is so much that could go wrong if they do this. Sure, it’s more accepted to be gay now, but people still frown upon it. He doesn’t want to hide who he is for the rest of his life, that’s no life to live. It could get complicated, and what if Kris doesn’t think it’s worth it? What if they do decide to do this and they end up resenting each other?

What kind of person would he be not to take a chance at love, though? Real love is something you only get once in a life time. If this is it, Neal isn’t going to let this chance pass him by. He wouldn’t forgive them if he did.

Neal shifts to the side, folding one leg under his body as he faces Kris head on. They just sit there in silence a few moments more. Neal studies Kris’ features closely, tries to imagine what he will look like thirty years down the line and is surprised that he actually _can_. There’s a look in Kris’ eyes that Neal can swear is one of rejection. It’s that look that finally seals the deal.

Leaning forward, Neal puts a gentle hand under Kris’ chin, perfecting the angle for a kiss. It’s almost funny the way Kris’ eyes widen with realization at what’s about to happen, the same time as his lips spread into a soft smile.

The kiss, when it does happen, is soft and tentative as well as the most intense kiss Neal has ever experienced, all at the same time. It speaks of love and promise, and most of all _the future_. Neal has a feeling things are going to be just fine.

**The end**


End file.
